it's like sometimes we all watch our lives from the outside, a third person perspective. we think we see ourselves, we play tricks with our brain convincing it that we DO see ourselves from the front, the back, the side, all angles, when in reality we really don't...when we aren't dead...when we aren't spirits. usually, in my opinion, it takes a pretty big event to occur before we trick our brain into seeing ourselves, something bad happens to us, something terrible happens to someone we know, or maybe even something so great happens we can't believe it...it can't always be about the bad...because if it is, the good will never taste or feel as good.

you drive to work, you stop at a red light with everyone else who has stopped in front of you, you take a sip of your coffee from your fancy new coffee cup while you have a chance, you put the cup down, and get ready for the light to turn green when....wham....someone behind you doesn't bother to stop, slow down, or attempt to break and hits your truck with such force that you fly forward, the air bag sends you back, and the car that slammed you is still ramming you into the car in front of you.

this is a moment where it seems like you are watching yourself, or watching a movie like it was a flashback but some of those flashbacks might actually be scenes from your own life up until this point. what do you think about in the millisecond it takes your brain to realize this might be it? how do you react when you feel something very unnatural, unexpected, and incredibly frightening? when do you feel like you aren't watching yourself anymore? once you run out of the truck? once the police arrive? once you are at the hospital? when you leave the hospital? when you arrive home and figure out you no longer have a truck because it was completely totaled? I don't know, I don't believe many people can answer all the questions I usually ask of myself or strangers on this blog.

Do bad things only happen to bad people? Or do good people feel bad somtimes too? That might help me figure out which side of the fence I fall on that one.

I'll tell you one thing though, once you do realize you think you are watching yourself, and it stops, that feeling, at that moment, is one of the greatest feelings ever...why? because you just realized you made it, your alive, and you still have time, chances, and opportunities...so don't take them for granted.